How To Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
Let me back up.
Early in my career, I had a job that required me to be an effective public speaker. I had not done any public speaking outside of what was required of me in college, so this seemed like a daunting, but not unmanageable, skill to learn. I was highly motivated to excel because my compensation was directly tied to my ability to influence the audience and persuade them to take action.
They say that people fear public speaking more than death. While the task never kept me up at night, my success rate hinged on my ability to “get in the zone” 30-60 minutes before I had to give my speech.
During my pre-speech prep time, I spent about half my time making sure I knew my content inside and out, that I myself believed in what I was about to “sell”, and that I was ready to ad-lib in certain areas to keep my content fresh.
We have all faced times where it is necessary to leave our comfort zone in order to get something we want. Here are some steps you can take to make the process easier.
Before Leaving Your Comfort Zone
Know your starting point– meditate on where you are currently. Do you take small risks daily, or can you even remember the last time you took a deep breath and “went for it”? When was the last time you felt nervous about doing something or saying something? When was the last time you got outside your comfort zone?
Go for a walk, journal, or ponder this on your morning commute. Determine where your starting point is, then check in with your gut: are you telling yourself the truth? Step outside yourself and observe your conclusion: is it true? Is it accurate?
Once you have acknowledged your starting point, it is time to acknowledge that in order to change, some of your comforts will be disrupted. In the same way a lizard molts in order to grow, you, too, will leave behind certain habits in order to become the next version of “you”.
If you are not yet ready to make space for your more authentic self to be born, consider why that is. You may need to allow additional time to explore this before tackling your challenge.
In my 20’s, I was highly motivated to achieve a certain level of financial success in order to lay a solid financial foundation on which to start a family. In order to make my vision of family life a reality, I needed to push myself beyond my present circumstances again and again.
- If so, why?
Are you motivated to learn something new?
- What will you be able to do, or who will you become, once you have this new knowledge or skill?
Do you want to explore a vocation centered on a cause that you’re passionate about?
- What is it about this cause that has captivated you?
Do you want to earn a certification in XYZ field?
- What will that feel like? How will having that certification change you?
Go to the moment of achievement– the moment you overcome the wall of fear separating you from everything you want. Allow the feelings of satisfaction to wash over you as you envision taking hold of that which you have been working for.
Identify your mental coach– who inspires you, encourages you, reassures you? If they’re on social media, follow them. If they’re a friend, let them know that you are getting outside of your comfort zone and that you might reach out to them for support along the way.
If you think you might need extra help and don’t want to burden the friendship, consider hiring a coach. Allow yourself to experience the support and guidance of someone who has your best interest at heart.
When fear surrounds you, you’ll need to step into this alter ego. Spend a few moments taking in the future version of yourself: cloaked in confidence, new accomplishment tucked victoriously under your arm, how do you walk into a room? How do you interface with others?
Borrow someone else’s ‘why’: You might have a tough time working up the nerve to ask for a raise for yourself but have no problem advocating for people on your team. Take the success you experienced in advocating for others and apply those techniques, and that confidence, to your own case.
Having a tough time thinking of yourself as a salesperson but know it’s a skill you need to develop to get to the next level? Give some thought to a cause that you’re passionate about, then practice selling on behalf of that cause. Maybe it’s raising money for a certain charity or canvassing for a political candidate; gain skills and experience, then transfer these skills and your new confidence to your own personal cause.
I’ve grown substantially in my career and have reached new heights that I never dreamed of. Anne taught me the value of having a good work ethic and she is essentially is the reason I am where I am today in my career. She always encouraged me to set goals and meet them, push myself beyond my comfort zone and reach for the stars.
In The Midst of the Fear Zone
See and recognize fear– begin to understand that it gets dressed up in various costumes to try to fake you out- become adept at seeing it for what it is.
Do you want to start a new career but agonize at the thought of taking beginner-level classes? Fear is masquerading as hardship. You may not be worried about passing the classes, but you find you are fearful of quitting before you have even started.
Do you believe you are deserving of a higher starting salary than you’ve been offered? You research your position, only to find that what’s been offered is market rate. Fear has talked you out of trusting your intuition and won the day!
Do you want to be more assertive? Start by asking for what you need from the waiter at a restaurant. Next, take a minority position on a low-risk issue. Finally, speak up in the boardroom at work. It’s important to gain momentum, then celebrate your successes.
Stepping outside your comfort zone will become a habit. When you get stuck in the moments before action, employ Mel Robbins’ 5-Second Rule: countdown 5-4-3-2-1, and then DO IT.
Do you want to run a marathon? Read up on courses, training plans, nutrition and mental obstacles. The more familiar you become with the obstacles you will encounter, the more confidence you develop about how you will overcome those obstacles when faced with them.
What would the “new” me do? Consider who you are with your new accomplishment. Do you stand taller, shoulders down and chest out, owning your success? Are you the person who runs toward challenges with confidence? Put on the persona of the new you; play pretend that the new, accomplished you is who you are now; live into your future self.
Would you rather talk this one out?
Are you heading to a new client meeting at Big Shot Firm’s headquarters and feeling a bit nervous? Recall your nerves when you visited your very first client’s office and how you overcame those nerves. Even though the stakes for your company may have been lower at the smaller client’s office, the feeling of nervousness that you experienced then is likely similar, if not identical, to the nerves you are experiencing now. You survived and thrived then; you can do the same now.
Getting outside your comfort zone is not easy, but it is a necessary step for any kind of growth. Take the first step, TODAY.
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